I’m a guy, so this post is going to be written from the perspective of a male. However, I think this discussion applies equally to men and women. If you’re a lady, just replace “girlfriend” with ”boyfriend.”
Imagine this. You head over to your girlfriend’s house one day and she springs it up out of nowhere. “The girls and I are going to Las Vegas for so-and-so’s bachelorette party.”
This can be a tricky situation for some people because you don’t want to appear insecure and controlling but at the same time, you’re not too keen on the idea of your lovely lady heading to the City of Sin, the place where gambling, late nights, alcohol and an atmosphere that tells you to just let go all combine to make it a mecca of poor decisions.
This kind of discussions pops up every once in a while at online discussion forums and the answers to the initial question usually fall right down one of two lines:
- Hell no, I wouldn’t let her go.
- Yes I would. If you don’t trust your girlfriend in Vegas, you shouldn’t even be with her. Stop being so insecure.
The worst thing you can do at this point is freak out and instantly demand her to call it off. Getting angry and making demands is going to cause all kinds of trouble and make you look like a scared, insecure fool. Trust me on that. If your first inclination is to get upset, just take a second to get your bearings. You probably weren’t expecting this little bit of news.
Here’s how I look at it. If your girlfriend is going to cheat on you, it won’t matter if she’s in Vegas. Yes, Vegas does have that rowdy atmosphere, but it doesn’t change people deep down at the core. If you’re hitched up with a cheater, it will happen eventually.
Let her go to Vegas. There’s nothing you can do except have a little faith. Give her the benefit of the doubt, tell her to have a good time and to be safe. If she does cheat on you, the odds are good that you’ll eventually find out. It’s hard to hide a cheating heart.
Banning your girlfriend from Vegas isn’t going to win anything. At the best, she’ll listen to your demand, stay home and resent you for a long time. At the worst, she’ll lose respect for you and keep her eyes open for an upgrade.
The best thing you can do is play it cool, be excited for her and tell her to have a good time. You’ll look like a real stud who is confident in what he brings to the relationship. Going even further, it shouldn’t even be an act. Know deep down inside that you bring something to the table. It would be her loss to do something as stupid as cheating on you.
Don’t waste energy worrying about things you can’t control. You can’t force anyone to love you or be true to you. The only thing you can control is who you are. Satisfaction doesn’t come from controlling your partner; it comes from taking your time and finding the right person. The right person simply won’t cheat on you.
Is there ever a time when it’s not OK?
Well, maybe. If you’re sitting in the hospital recovering from a motorcycle accident and she wants to go to Vegas, something isn’t right. If she wants to go share rooms with a bunch of single males, something isn’t right. But even then, you can’t forbid her going to Vegas.
If your girlfriend wants to go to Vegas at a really inappropriate time or under really sketchy circumstances, tell her to look at it from your point of view and then let her make her own decision. If she does go and that decision is completely contrary to your own set of morals, she isn’t the right one for you. There are compatibility issues there.
But at this point, it really isn’t about Vegas. It’s comes down to basic boundaries of respect. In an adult relationship, you and she simply know what’s right and what isn’t right. A simple trip to Vegas with the girlfriends? No problem. A trip to Vegas the day after you are diagnosed with stage four lung cancer? No good.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think.